The lone wolf...
As Rodney Dangerfield says..."I get no respect!"
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Marcus Aurelius: Tell me again, Maximus, why are we here?
Maximus: For the glory of the Empire, sire.
Baked, not fried... the healthy choice.