You know you watch too much MMA when..... - MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos
UFC The Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) is a U.S.-based mixed martial arts organization, recognized as the largest MMA promotion in the world. The UFC is headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada and is owned and operated by Zuffa, LLC. This promotion is responsible for solidifying the sport's postion in the history-books. UFC is currently undergoing a remarkable surge in popularity, along with greater mainstream media coverage. UFC programming can now be seen on FOX, FX, and FUEL TV in the United States, as well as in 35 other countries worldwide.

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 11:10 AM Thread Starter
teampunishment's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 178
You know you watch too much MMA when.....

Your MMA tapes are your prized collection.

You scream at the TV and could sware that sometimes, they do listen.

"hey, I want to try something" These words out of your mouth have cleared out parties.

You not only shadow box, but you shadow roll.

You give medical advise and never have you even been enrolled at Medical School. You really feel that you have a decent grasp on human anatomy because you know how to break it.

Every single time time you walk into a bar, you plot out a plan on how to beat down every single person in the bar, just in case you end up having a problem with them later.

You know more about the pasts of your favorite fighters than they can remember.

You can take a 1 second exchange between fighters and give a 10 minute speech on what was really happening.

You giggle to yourself every time you see blood.....and laugh really hard if it isn't yours and you created the injury.

You have been tempted to murder some drunk at at least 1 MMA in the hell has that asshole lived this long btw?!?!?!?!?!

You now know the power of Dad strength and Tard strength.

Your dream girls are ladies that could kick your ass.


*If you wake up in the triangle position.

*If your friend passes-out from the choke because they don't know what a "tap" is.

*You flinch everytime somewhen moves quick around you and wanna duck and get the takedown

*Girlfriend gets seriously iritated when you show her the new footlock

* You practice triangle chokes and rear naked chokes on your pillow and duvet when you sleep.

It isn't unusual for you to come home with scratches all over the place on your body-AND your woman doesn't even ask about it anymore because she knows it was from training and not cheating.

You have little or no hair, not because you are a Nazi, just so it doesn't get grabbed.

When cuddling or watching TV with your woman, or even give her a hug, you get the underhooks or pull her into your guard.

You have a hard time letting your woman take top during sex because she could start raining down shots at any time. (good to never call her the wrong name)

When you see a street fight, you are disgusted and start screaming....."knee!!!!!" and take up the loser after the fact and give him some pointers, followed shortly there after by telling the winner, he is lucky that it wasn't you. Fight shortly follows.

You think Golum from Two Towers had good form for a grappler because he sunk the hooks on Sam and went for a choke but the only thing you could think to say besides "Tap Mother****er", was "grab your bicep".

You have actually had more than one of the fight ****s that go to your local promotion. So has most of your gym.

The term "work" means so much more than the average joe and you don't hesistate to use it.

You think you could beat Mike Tyson "if you could just get a takedown"

You would sooner break Jim Rome's arm than shake his hand.

You take insults to your art of choice (ie judo, bjj) very personally.

You don't remember the last time you shook another man's hand without really squeezing hard just to test them.

You play out bar fights in your head before you even leave for the bar.

When nailing your girlfriend from the top you pass guard for no apparent reason.

North/South position has ruined 69'ing.

You go out of your way to correct casual mma fans when they **** up Royce.

every time I see WWE wrestling on tv I start yelling " armlock, choke, triangle..!!"

when someone is putting too much weight on one leg you think how devasting your Thai roundhouse would be in this situation.

when having 69 you instinctively go for the omaplata or an ankle lock.

When you are at a family reunion and you greet everyone with a handshake, because eveytime someone trys to hug you, you automatically go for the clinch.

You come up behind your wife to give her a hug, and she automatically sinks her chin because she knows you're going to slip in a choke.

When your two sons are fighting, you give them a time-out.
Then you put them back in their original position.

Whenever someone takes a picture you go into a fight pose.

You yell "TAKE HIM DOWN!" whenever there is a fight on TV or in a movie

You've developed a slight Brazilian accent.

You size EVERYONE up right away to decide what would be the best way to "finish" them...

Also using bjj postioning/holds/subs to achieve dominance in the bedroom dept when doing the wild thing with your girlfriend!!!

Worrying that your girlfriend will triangle you when you are in the missionary position and put one arm under!

When watching the Lewis vs Tyson fight you explained to your mates that Lewis would be a 'sucker' for a double leg.

When you watch tv & see "any" fighting, you tell everyone what "move" they could have used to win!

You check your footing in the bar to make sure you won't slip if you shuld have to leg kick someone.

You ALWAYS go for the double underhooks when giving a chick a hug.

When you explain to you girlfriend that she has you in her open guard while you are having sex.

When you see a name beginning with R, you instinctively pronounce it with an H in your head.

You shout instructions to movie characters during fight scenes.

You think a rear naked choke qualifies as hugging your significant other / Everytime you hug your girlfriend from behind, you instinctively apply a rear naked choke.

Occasionally you will look at peoples legs and imagine the shock on their face if you gave them your hardest Thai kick.

Whenever a cool song comes on you imagine it being your entrance song.

Your wife gets pissed off because you scream at Buffy for fighting too fancy and not punching straight

When your friends play fight and they see you coming they immediately stop before you jump in.

You get upset everytime you watch "hip hop" people "touch gloves" to greet one another.

You see a man getting mauled by a bear on When Animals Attack and think "Man, the armbar is sooo there!"

When you start to forget that spandex does and will always equal HOMO.

When you wear shirts that say super macho retarded stuff like "tap or snap" fight wear, blood and pain."

When you forget that MMA is a smaller sport then ping pong and actually think you should "renegotiate"

You test durability of clothes for grappling, kicking, punching and rolling when you buy them

If you're laying down on your side and your girlfriend tries to spoon you from behind and you tuck and get the knee bar.

If you constantly key lock things that are long at work like the rake and the shovel.

When you can no longer watch any Kung Fu movie, or flashy fight scene because you know that stuff doesnt work

Every time someone comes in for a hug you think they are trying to get the clinch...
Image hosted by Click the pic to visit my Tito site. For gfx, web design & more check out my website -
teampunishment is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 11:53 AM
MMA Fanatic
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 76
Ahaahahahahahahahahaha Lmao Ahahahahaahahahaha How True Ahahahaha
Big_Badi_Rabadi is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 12:01 PM
Future UFC LW Champ
CTFlyingKnee's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 1,957
Great post.....I'm guilty of abunch of those things, esp showing my girlfriend my new leg locks lol
CTFlyingKnee is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 12:53 PM
The Don's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: TN
Posts: 2,163
Blog Entries: 4
Originally Posted by CTFlyingKnee
Great post.....I'm guilty of abunch of those things, esp showing my girlfriend my new leg locks lol
I been guilty of many of those things since I started martial arts training.. even before I ever learned of MMA but its still funny stuff

RGDA TN Web Site

My BJJ and MMA Blog

BJJ Board

Use No Way as Way, Have No Limitation as Limitation.
Vincere Vel Mori

Yea I still exist.
The Don is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 02:33 PM
adminmma's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,909
Blog Entries: 1
adminmma is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 02:40 PM
i've earned my stripes
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,989
Good shyt.

i'm a monster
i'm a maven
i know this world is changin'
never gave in
never gave up
i'm the only thing i'm afraid of
T.B. is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-25-2006, 01:16 AM
MMA Fanatic
Craze's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 46
HAHAHAHA Thats awsome i do watch alot of mma but thank god im not that bad. But yea I definatly do some of those things.
Craze is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-25-2006, 04:10 AM
MMA Fanatic
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 26
i have definately found my place we are the same my brothers lol haha
Tomy is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-25-2006, 04:56 AM
This is SPARTA!
Kameleon's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 5,494
Blog Entries: 4

That is some funny stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

Kameleon is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome