Chael Sonnen: "I wanna be 10 years old and be play with the red button" - MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 04:34 AM Thread Starter
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Chael Sonnen: "I wanna be 10 years old and be play with the red button"

1. When you were 10 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to stay 10 years old, AND be President. Still want both. Want to play with that pretty red button on my new desk.......

2. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

The ability to make my e-mail address invisible to Hack journalists

3. What is the worst way you can think of to have to spend an evening?

Answering inane questions sent to me by strangers

4. Better for your ego: A big-boobed hot blond on your arm or a Ferrari in the garage?

What is your theoretical Blonde doing "on my arm"? Hanging on it? Biting it? Sleeping under it? Tieing it off, and shooting dope into it? And what model Ferrari? What year? What condition?

5. What song is currently playing on your iPod?

I only listen to vinyl albums. Favorite song is "Cowgirl in the Sand" by Neil Young.

6. What is your favorite curse word?


7. Why do you thing wrestling is the Achilles heel of so many MMA fighters?


8. What is your favorite movie?

"APOCALYPTO". I'm babysitting my two neices, age 5 & 7. We're watching it right now.

9. Do these jeans make my butt look big?

See answer #7 above

10. If you could only listen to one band/musician for the rest of your life, who would it be?

Husker Du

11. Do you ever get in touch with your feminine side? If so, how?

I've got my "Feminine side" upstairs right now. And my "Feminine Front", and maybe, if I play my cards right, my "Feminine Back". I'll let you know how things turn out.

12. Which actor would you want to play you in a movie about your life?

Charles Dutton

13. What would the title of that movie be?

"Inherit the Wind"

14. Who would you rather humiliate in the Ocatgon? Michael Bisping or Anderson Silva?

Not really into the whole humiliation thing. You may need to go get some counseling. You're starting to freak me out. Are you wearing a pink dog-collar right now?

15. Will you be my boyfriend?

You’re proving my point.

16. What was your first job?

Slaughterhouse work. 14 years old. Blood, filth, fear. Like now.

17. Would you rather be President of the United States or the lead singer of a rock band?

Your themes are becoming depressingly redundant. If you're out of gas, pull over. Don't wait in the middle lane for me to save you. You're gonna get wrecked.

18. You just won $50 million in the lottery. What’s the first thing you buy?

I would buy the website you work for and make you the Janitor for a week, then fire you.

19. What is your worst habit?

Being patient with unimaginative people

20. Before you take us to bed or lose us forever, what would you like to say to the gals who are fans of MMA?

Hi, Ladies. Enjoy yourselves. Life is short.



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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 04:51 AM
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Holy shit that was retarded.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 05:02 AM
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Originally Posted by TheWulf View Post
Holy shit that was retarded.

After reading the interview i just sat in my chair, not knowing what the hell to type.

The interviewer was really unprofessional, not like she has to be professional or anything but she really didn't achieve anything from doing this interview.

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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 05:14 AM
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i saw that early today, retarded interview questions but good responses from chael not taking them seriously

Jim Norton
Nick Dipaolo
Dave Attell
Dave Chappelle
Bill Burr
Joey Diaz
Colin Quinn
Bob Kelly
Rich Vos
Patrice O'Neal
Louis CK

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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 05:15 AM
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Limba you ****ed up, the real prize is in the "panty dropper of the week" where the ladies discuss the boys of MMA.

Donna's(the girl who gave the interview) View

Doability - You know that girl who did the world's biggest gang bang? She had sex with, like, 500 guys or something? Well, if I was trying to beat her record, and I had made it through 500 guys, and I only had one left to win the title, and that one guy ended up being Chael Sonnen? I'd stick with a tie.

Perceived Skills - Making enemies, hiding things, chest hair maintenance.

Pet Name - F**kface

Imagined Dream Date - I head with my girlfriends to one of those charity date auction things. I have images of being the winning bidder for a romantic boat ride through Central Park with some beefy firefighter or debonair armed services officer. But those dates don't come cheap, and I'm quickly outbid by all the 50 something socialites who are ready to live out their cougar fantasies. Then F**kface comes on stage, and even the loneliest Upper East Side housewives don't bid. I begin to feel sorry for F**kface, so I bid a dollar for the date. Hey, it's for charity, right? Big mistake. Chael chooses the most expensive restaurant in town for our "date", a 4-hour, $275 per person dinner at Per Se. I end up spending $800 to listen to F**kface bitch for four hours about how the world is out to get him because we're all just jealous cause he's the most talented fighter in the world. Charity blows.

Long Term Relationship Potential - Only if God hates me.

Panty Dropper Rating - 1 - Not even with yours.

Some women should just be seen and not heard.

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 05:28 AM
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lmfao that was hilarious.

Thanks to limba for this AWESOME sig
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 05:58 AM
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Originally Posted by John8204 View Post
Limba you ****ed up, the real prize is in the "panty dropper of the week" where the ladies discuss the boys of MMA.

Some women should just be seen and not heard.
I really want Chael to retort with a single sentence that has her trawling the streets to hook up with a booze riddled, rickets inflicted tramp just to regain a morsel of self esteem and to fill the murky void that Sonnen left cold and vacant.

Originally Posted by Sonnen
30 min to cement your legacy. Champ or Coward? I make a lot more than you do... Show up in 8 days I'll give you my purse.

Originally Posted by Bisping
Jones said he's not fighting chael on 8 days notice. I did. .... Just sayin
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 06:15 AM
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That was the dumbest unfunniest stuff I've seen come out of Chael's mouth, not even a single stifled giggle came after wasting 5 mins. Surprising, because the guy has at least been funny in the past.

Poor guy can't fight anymore or sell real estate anymore and now it appears he's losing it in his final backup career as a shock-jock / comedian. Looks like he's gonna be on welfare pretty soon.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 06:23 AM
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Beth's View

Doability - I've never hidden my love of men who skirt the line of the law. A guilty plea to money laundering is like spanish fly to me. Plus, I imagine that having sex with him would be quite the experience. In my head he would insist on you calling him 'Daddy' and he would shout things out like, "Ride the snake, baby girl" and "Wahoo, this train is coming into the station." How could any girl resist such theatrics?
Perceived Skills - telling people how awesome he is, telling stories about something awesome he did the other day, being awesome
Pet Name - Chompers
Imagined Dream Date - Chael takes me to our special place. A tiny trailer for just him and me. We take our time eating the food that I've brought while we catch up on everything that's happened since we last saw each other. Finally, it's business time and Chael tosses me on the bed and says, "Let's do it." I love it when he gets romantic like that. All of a sudden someone bangs on the door and yells, "Time's up!" Damn. These conjugal visits never last long enough.
Long Term Relationship Potential - Um, no.
Pantydropper Rating - 3 - Eh, why not?

This thread needs pix of Donna and Beth.

So we can rate their pantydroppindesirability.

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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 05-24-2011, 08:27 AM
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FAIL Chonnen...this guy is still around...lolz. Loser...
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