In September of last year, I hooked up with this chick from a bar. I woke up in her bed all hung over and feeling terrible. She had already gotten up by the time I woke up and was getting ready for class.
I went to slide out from under the blanket and noticed a giant wet stain directly underneath me. I guess I was so hammered i ended up pissing myself during the night...right beside her.
I froze, then slid back under the blankets. She came over and said she had to go to class, then started to climb on top of me, luckily, she couldnt feel the wetness through the blankets.
We made out a bit and then I told her to go to class or she'd be late...
I heard her walk downstairs and heard the front door close, before I jumped up and started freaking out about what I should do.
Panicking, I grabbed the sheets and ran downstairs to the washing machine and threw them in. I chose the shortest cycle and when it was done i immediately threw them in the dryer.
After about 30 seconds of the drying cycle the machine stopped...just stopped and wouldnt start up again. I guess the dryer was broken or i broke it or something messed up but it wouldnt work.
So I left....I ran away...
About 3 hours later I get a text message from the girl saying "where are my sheet"...
I replied "dryer" and she said "why"...
I replied "love stains" and never spoke to her again...
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GSP Dan Henderson Sean Sherk Tyson Griffin Mark Hunt
When i was about 16 years old my brother got a dog and this dog for the first year of its life pissed and **** all over the house. Well one day I came and the piss that was now a day old was still in the middle of my bed room. Me not wanting to get dog was not about to clean up its ****/piss and my brother had agreed to it when getting the dog. This had happened tons of times and many arguments came from me getting my brother to clean **** in my room, always being a hassle. I was angry and not about to beet a dog that has no idea what is wrong decided to just take a massive leak all over my brothers room starting from his bed to the door. Its disgusting and hilarious watching your brother clean your piss.
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Throughout high school, I prided myself as not being particularly one of the "popular group", but well-known to the point where at any gathering I had friends there. I never messed up, always kept my grades average at least, and was known as a generally nice guy. Here's the story of how that ended.
It was the last week of my senior year in high school, and I was feelin good. 2nd period Physics class was fun, loud and unproductive as usual, with me sitting in a circle with my friends talking nonsense and copying homework.
I will now introduce the girl whom I shall call 'Becca'. Becca is half Latina and half white, and although she was one of the underclassmen in my Physics class she had by far the nicest rack of all the girls present. She also wasn't afraid to give her fantastic chest some fresh air, if you know what I mean, so it was very hard not to let one's eyes wander. Technically I sat next to her the entire year, but everyone would move seats to go sit with their friends after role was taken (except on test days). I still got to know her pretty well, as she appreciated my goofy sense of humor.
So now we come back to the last week of school, me sitting with my friends. Our discussion begins to center on boobs, and of course it doesn't take long until Becca's name is brought up (she's across the classroom with her friends). We begin debating over how big her boobs really are. I called D cups, some agreed with me but most argued that they were in the upper C category. This debate lasts nearly 30 minutes, and as class begins to end one of my friends gets the crazy idea to go ask her. He gets out of his seat and begins to walk up to her, but turns around saying, "yeah right." Of course, we all call him a puss, but get a good laugh out of it. Then Becca gets out of her seat and walks past us towards the exit. As a final joke, I half-yell out "how big are your tits?!"
She stops.
To this day I have no idea how she f*!#ing heard me say that over our chaotic classroom. Not to mention she somehow knew it was being directed at her. But she did, and she turned around with her mouth wide open. She was speechless with anger, and I was a deer in the headlights. "What did you say?" It was one of those moments that catches you off guard so bad that you literally have to dig for anything to say at all, and its most likely not going to be a very smooth sentence once you do.
I shrugged and said with an exasperated smile, "Well... how big are they?"
Real smooth. Not only did I embarrass her and piss her off with a totally avoidable joke, I made myself look like to total asshole afterwards. Not only that, but I realize now that my ass is grass, and her best friend, one of the school's SECURITY GUARDS, is about to smoke me. The class is near silent now, and naturally, she turns around and storms out of the room. All eyes are on me. I shrugged again, trying to play it off and said, "whatever, we were just wondering..."
Every guy in the room ERUPTS with laughter, the kind of laughing that renders one unable to breathe for half a minute. The girls that heard what I said are still glaring at me, my 4-year high school reputation as a nice guy completely ruined. All of my friends begin shaking my hand, still red and teary from laughing. They didn't know that I meant for her not to hear it, so for that day I was the guy who "didn't give a f***", as they said it. People kept coming up to me after class, I was seriously a freakin celebrity at my school for the rest of the day, a funny side-effect of one of the most flustering moments of my grade school career.
But yes, this tale does have a happy ending. A few days later, after many angry glances from her security guard friend, I summoned the balls to go talk to her. I apologized and told her that "I really didn't mean for you to hear that", and she told me that she knew and she could have gotten me in deep shit but she didn't. It was awkward conversation from there, but hey, my ass was safe and I knew that I probably won't ever see her again. And although I am still a pretty nice guy, that incident did help me mature by knowing that hey, you can't always please everybody, sometimes you mess things up.
Nice guys finish last anyways.
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GSP Dan Henderson Sean Sherk Tyson Griffin Mark Hunt
i guess i had something like that but i had a blockout and fell into a near by river .. didnt remember a thing and lucky me some punk rocker pulled me out be4 drowning .. now i buy him beer 4 the rest of his life...
anyway i liked this thread very much and will check out the rest of the mails been posted.. hell maybe i´ll send one
ok be4 the civil war in YU i kicked the ball against the wall and some nice girls were passing by and i wanted to be all cool with a bomb shot and while i was taking swing to hit the ball i fell down with my head on the ball but it looked like like was going to bed with pillow .. they laughed and so did i , a bit later...
The story about pissing the bed reminded me of a time I was getting nasty with a very hot chick in her bathroom and I looked down at my butt-huggers on the floor and there were some skid marks! I looked up and saw her eyes and she had seen it too. Damn! Thats about as bad as pissing the bed.
The good news is she still put out. Damn, that was one of the hottest chicks I ever had. Mmm, Mmm, good.
*MMA Forum Anonymous Confessions V1*
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