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Old 06-16-2008, 03:52 AM   #191 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarijuanaSmoker View Post
your mom is so fat a moon formed around her consisting of dead skin and food particles!

yo momma's so fat she cuts her leg and she bleeds marinara sauce....
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Old 06-16-2008, 03:54 AM   #192 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by coldcall420 View Post
yo momma's so fat she cuts her leg and she bleeds marinara sauce....
un ******* called for man


hahaha

should end this with a joke aside from it being a joke within itself

a man is standing in line for a ticket to pittsburgh, he gets to the counter and notices the chick selling tickets has huge tits, so he says "Can i get a ticket to tittsburgh" a old man behind him starts laughing and touches his shoulder, he says "Dont worry about it, I did the same thing last night, i went to ask my wife to pass me the salt but instead i said YOU RUINED MY ******* LIFE BITCH"

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Old 06-16-2008, 04:23 AM   #193 (permalink)
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Omg Zerg Rush!!!!!!!!!
SCVS AND REPAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-16-2008, 05:28 AM   #194 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plazzman View Post
Warnings and Infractions have/will be dished out quite generously in this thread.

Have a nice day
Look at this guy, always gotta have the attention!
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His swaggers tight like a yeast infection! And he give geese erections!
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Old 06-16-2008, 05:31 AM   #195 (permalink)
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A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the f*****g safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money". "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your f*****g head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"

"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.......

"Not that f*****g difficult is it?" he says






Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:
- Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls.
- You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it.
After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:
- Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?
- Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.



Here are some condom slogans haha


1) Cover your stump before you hump
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
4) When in doubt shroud you spout
5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
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Old 06-16-2008, 12:39 PM   #196 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarijuanaSmoker View Post
wow, america would own england in less then 3 months? holy shit, but its took 8 years in iraq and your still losing? didnt you also lose to vietnam, korea and the gulf?

let me guess your rationalization, americans wont support you in iraq, where apparently they are terrorist and want to hurt your country, but americans will support a war against a top country?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA

idiot
russia has a biggest nuce and also vacum bomb
lets live in piece guys ...
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Old 06-16-2008, 01:33 PM   #197 (permalink)
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What do Canadian beer and piss have in common?

The taste
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Old 06-16-2008, 02:21 PM   #198 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plazzman View Post
Warnings and Infractions have/will be dished out quite generously in this thread.

Have a nice day
I find this to be a very offensive joke. Can we get a mod to regulate this guy.

I think this is one of the most disturbing jokes I have heard in a while:

Two starving bums

These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat.
He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.
He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"
"Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"
The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton.
A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat."
And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush.
The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!"
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Old 06-16-2008, 02:28 PM   #199 (permalink)
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1)Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

2)An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...

Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a closeby man, " Can you help me point my penis" ?

The man reluctantly accepted but, decided not to look at the mans penis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, " Hey! I'm grabbing it right"? " So I should look, I have a right"!

He looks down at the mans member and sees that is beyond hidious. Startled he jumps back and lets go, asking. " What the hell is wrong with it ?"

The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but, I ain't touchin' it." and walks away.

3)A truck driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side o the road.

He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says "I can't I'm on my period."

He says "That doesn't matter."

So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.

A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.

So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.

The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.

The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers "Eating Pizza!"

4)A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,

"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."
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Old 06-17-2008, 01:54 AM   #200 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ID06 View Post
What do Canadian beer and piss have in common?

The taste
Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?

It's ******* close to water.
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