Sick Joke Thread - Page 26 - MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos
Word Games & Trivia Word games. Create them, play them, and eat spam (Post count turned off in this section)! Oh yeah, trivia too.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #251 of 283 (permalink) Old 09-16-2008, 12:05 PM Thread Starter
Rangers rule
 
MalkyBoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 2,330
Blog Entries: 3
                     
what do you call a black condom?

night rider, oh yeah



Thanks to Plazz for the awesome sig

http://www.mmaforum.com/hall-fame/47...-plazzman.html

Show him respect
MalkyBoy is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #252 of 283 (permalink) Old 09-21-2008, 10:16 AM
LEGEN...wait for it...DARY
 
ZZtigerZZ81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 5,066
Blog Entries: 2
                     
I like my women like I like my whiskey.... 5 years old and full of coke.

ZZtigerZZ81 is offline  
post #253 of 283 (permalink) Old 09-21-2008, 11:11 AM
Lightweight
 
Dan0's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Latvia
Posts: 1,543
                     
This isnt THAT sick, but it cracks me up -

"Daddy, i'm never going to go sledge with you..."
"Shut up and pull!"

Last edited by Dan0; 09-21-2008 at 12:48 PM.
Dan0 is offline  
post #254 of 283 (permalink) Old 09-21-2008, 12:18 PM
The Revolution
 
SimplyNate's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,018
                     
So this Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.

All the patrons at the bar are like "Why do you have a steering wheel down your pants, isn't that annoying?"

The Pirate replies "Yarrrr, it's driving me nuts."



Not sick but so stupid it's somehow funny.

SimplyNate is offline  
post #255 of 283 (permalink) Old 10-07-2008, 09:51 AM Thread Starter
Rangers rule
 
MalkyBoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 2,330
Blog Entries: 3
                     
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?

A. About three inches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!

------------------------------------------------------------
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

'Oi, what's your disability?'

I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'


----------------------------------------------------------------------

A man is in a queue at a supermarket and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.

'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks.
'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'Are you the bird I shagged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?'

'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'


----------------------------------------------------------------------

I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '


----------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?

Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.


----------------------------------------------------------------------

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.

He says 'That's all right, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------

A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.

His wife replies 'You've got a bigger knob than your brother'



Thanks to Plazz for the awesome sig

http://www.mmaforum.com/hall-fame/47...-plazzman.html

Show him respect
MalkyBoy is offline  
post #256 of 283 (permalink) Old 10-07-2008, 11:24 AM
Champ
Image Hosting by Picoodle.com
 
yorT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 3,541
                     
Damn those were all good Malky! nice




FFL 3rd +90
Mauricio "Shogun" Rua
Demian Maia
Martin Kampmann
Nate Diaz
yorT is offline  
post #257 of 283 (permalink) Old 10-13-2008, 12:28 AM
The Revolution
 
SimplyNate's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,018
                     
A gay couple is spending a night in a hotel room. The hotel catches on fire interrupting their festivities. Who makes it out of the burning building first: the man on top or the man on the bottom?

-The man on the bottom, he already has his shit packed.

SimplyNate is offline  
post #258 of 283 (permalink) Old 10-13-2008, 08:30 AM
Flyweight
 
wozza's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Watford, UK
Posts: 237
               
A priest checks into a hotel and says to the receptionist "I hope my pornography channels are disabled"

The receptionist replies, "No, its normal porn, you sick ****!"

Potius Mori Quam Foedari
wozza is offline  
post #259 of 283 (permalink) Old 12-31-2008, 08:29 PM
 
Toxic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: See that guy over in the window, with the binoculars?
Posts: 21,821
                     
There is some sick shit in here.




"If you get hit and it hurts hit him back you not knocked out yet."-Joe Doerksen
The Toxic Terrors (FFL)
Demetrious Johnson*Eduardo Dantas*Emanuel Newton*Will Brooks*Michael Page



Toxic is offline  
post #260 of 283 (permalink) Old 02-15-2009, 12:14 AM
LEGEN...wait for it...DARY
 
ZZtigerZZ81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 5,066
Blog Entries: 2
                     
Did you guys' hear about the tax on Aspirin?

Yeah apparently Obama is taxing aspirin because it is white and it works.

ZZtigerZZ81 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the MMA Forum - UFC Forums - UFC Results - MMA Videos forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome