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Old 01-29-2008, 04:20 AM   #81 (permalink)
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How do you **** a spastic?

Let his wheelchair tires down.......
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Old 01-29-2008, 05:32 AM   #82 (permalink)
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Disrespectful of dead people but goddamn it is funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLVsIpejFgM
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Old 06-14-2008, 05:26 AM   #83 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IhitU.uHITfloor View Post
POSSIBLY THE BEST BLOND JOKE EVER. A blond walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blond assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't have any." "But, I always buy it here," says the blond. "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "Yes," said the blond, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant". Annoyed, the blond snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .......
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.

I like that that was pretty good..
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Old 06-14-2008, 11:35 AM   #84 (permalink)
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Wanna hear a joke?

women's rights
---------------------------------------------------
There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
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One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach.

But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn't care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case.

Soon comes a little girl that asks "Sir, what's under the newspaper?"

The man replies with "it's a birdy and never ever touch it."

He soon falls asleep.

Later on when he wakes up, he's in the hospital feeling immense pain around his private area. The doctors ask what happened and all he could remember was the girl at the beach.

Later on the cops arrive at her house asking what she had done. She said "well I was playing with the birdy but then it spit this white stuff at me. I got really mad. So I broke it's neck, stepped on it's eggs, and burned it's nest."
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Home > Jokes > Top Ten Lists > Ten Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents



Ten Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents

1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.

2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?

3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?

4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!

5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.

6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable, in my opinion.

7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.

8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?

9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.

10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost
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Old 06-14-2008, 02:24 PM   #85 (permalink)
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Probly heard this but i too lazy to think of more others.

the pope, michael jackson and jacko's lawyer are in a plane with a bunch of kids.
pilot has a heart attack and the plane going down. they only have 3 parachutes.
jacko - what do we do
lawyer - i don't care as long as i get a parachute
pope - what about the children
lawyer - f*ck them
jacko - have we got time.

and

whats the difference between a baby and a fridge
- a fridge doesn't cry when you stuff your meat in it.
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Old 06-14-2008, 03:25 PM   #86 (permalink)
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A man calls in work sick one day, his boss goes crazy
"Sick?" he says, "Sick, thats the third time this week just how f*cking sick are you"
"Well", says the man, "I'm in bed with my twelve yr old sister."
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Old 06-14-2008, 03:38 PM   #87 (permalink)
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YOU GUYS ARE ALL SICK PEOPLE
WHAT HAS OUR SOCIETY COME TO
SHAME ON ALL OF YOU

ahahah jk

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies
and a pile of bowling balls?

u can move the bowling balls with a pitchfork

whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
when u slam a mosquito it stops sucking
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Old 06-14-2008, 04:12 PM   #88 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WouldLuv2FightU View Post
LMAO^^^

I thought Chris was joking about no race jokes at first. I'm really confused as to how someone can get offended at a common race-stereotype joke and not be offended at reading a list of jokes involving raping and/or murdering babies. I mean honestly I don't get offended at ANYTHING, but raping dead babies....there's just something about that I find it so hard to laugh about it. But I'm not offended. It is the sick joke thread afterall. If you get offended easily prolly shouldn't open a thread titled that.
i agree the baby jokes are ****ed up...so much death its wierd.....so here goes: Why do white people shop at black peoples yard sales?
Ans: So they can buy their stuff back!
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Old 06-14-2008, 06:55 PM   #89 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e-thug View Post
Alright I got some Jesus jokes.

-What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture!

-Why can't Jesus eat M & M's?
Because they keep on falling through his hands!
why should not racist jokes be allowed and Religious jokes should be? I think religion is a subject that should not be made fan of .... but thats only my opinion
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Old 06-15-2008, 02:34 AM   #90 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dontazo View Post
why should not racist jokes be allowed and Religious jokes should be? I think religion is a subject that should not be made fan of .... but thats only my opinion
well for one, religion is based on ignorance and hatred, caused alot of pain and suffering in this world over stupidity and causes people to cancel out reasoning, so the simple fact that religion is such a terrible thing it should be laughed at and mocked, better yet, forgoten
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