Alcohol..........J/K........Join a gym and do some sparring......After you get hit a couple times and get a feel for the competion your body will relax because your mind knows what to expect....Plus you have a good idea whre you stand as well

 

I'm the same way...I just thought it was normal.

 

bro im the same way. im 6'2 and lean 215 but i still never like to fight or be confronted. I never get pissed off or cant hit that switch. I have been in many street or bar fights but all were' deffensive. But ive been training MMA for over a yr now and once in the ring i still get like that. Its just your mind set. thats all... training, sparring and keeping that poise is what wins fights.

 

training will help that feeling alot. Once you start sparring it will get alot easier. For me the feeling never really went away, just got less intence.

 

Martial arts/MMA training and a public speaking course. And no, I'm not kidding about the second one.

 

Heres the thing, once you get out there and like other said "spar" you will lose some of anxiety because you'll have a better idea of what to expect.

 

what is the reason for anxiety.
are you afraid of getting your ass kicked or is there something else ?
i don;t like it either, usually if shit like that happen, i in the background am thinking if it's worth it to fight.
if it is then there is no need for any extra words/confrontations and ass must be kicked the sooner the better. same thing if you don't want but there is no choice.

try to feel confident and realize that you can kick most ass with ease - and if anything people should be afraid of you and have anxiety and shit.

5'11"
210 lbs

should be pretty scary.

 

Spar lots and lots.
The first time I sparred, I was shaking like a leaf. I still get kind of twitchy and jumpy on fight nights at my dojang, but it's more out of anticipation because i know i'm going to enjoy myself so much. I'm not scared of sparring any more, I just have the healthy fear that helps me to protect myself.

 

Yeah, when I started training and sparred for the first time, I thought I could hang with anybody in there because I knew my ability and knowledge... against a bag. Then I was so busy trying to get past that new feeling of leather in the face, I couldn't do much more than cover up. That brings up a tip... Don't wear contacts while sparring. I'm legally blind without them, but it's better to box a blur than spar with watery eyes and contacts flopping out of your eyes. Anyway, I eventually got used to getting hit in the face. It just takes time.

 

While I am definitely an advocate for sparring, I think you should look into a ref Self-Defense courses. Especially those that emphasize environmental awareness, and discretion (like the type they use for Firearms Safety training). I think the "fear of confrontation" you are feeling is something that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Likewise, learning how to disregard it can be life threatening.

While I can clearly attest to being willing to step into a sparring session at the Academy at drop of the hat, I would be weary of being "confronted by a 12 year-old anorexic girl" also. While I know full well that I may get beaten up while sparring (and I have jumped into sparring sessions expecting - and receiving - exactly that), I have no idea what this person in front of me has in store and that is unnerving for a very good reason.

The large difference being that even if I get put in a bad way at the hands of my training partners at the academy, I know they aren't going to hurt me overtly. While an anorexic 12 year-old girl may not be shit to me if she throws on the gloves, I don't know if she's got a knife, I don't know if she's got a gun, or I don't know she's got a group of her buddies or family members right around the corner/across the street waiting to jump on me and stomp me into the pavement. While my sparring partners don't intend to do me grievous bodily harm, I can not say that goes for XYZ person out on the street.

At times like this, I always mention Alex Gong. While fearless and more capable than the majority of the people on earth in a fight, his lack of discretion cost him his life when he pursued a guy who hit his car. While confronting the man he was shot point-blank in the chest. While sparring will help lessen fear, it does not instill a large level of discretion. Even as martial artists who are confident in facing fear, you can not servive long in this world if choosing to forego discretion.

 

Again, though I am just as fond a proponent of sparring as anyone else here in this thread, I must emphasize that stressing the need to spar would probably be missing the point in the TS initial post. I really don't think a healthy fear of confrontation is a bad thing. Discretion does exist for a reason.

 

I don't know, it's never good to be a doormat, and if you get scared and back down anythime someone confronts you you will become one.

One thing I have learned is that most people are all talk and react with a mixture of shock and terror if things actually do get physical. It's not exactly something you can rely on though.

Also it only applies to sober situations, everyone is Mike Tyson when they get a few pints into them.

 

I understand. But to clarify, when I mention "discretion" I in no way even infer "passivity." Just as it is a sad shame to back down to the shadow of every physical confrontation, I believe it is just foolish to rush headlong in the light of a possible confrontation.

While fearlessness and a quick will to fight will serve you consistently well in a sparring session or a match, it can get you (and your companions) killed rather quickly outside the controlled confines of the ring/cage. In that regards we have to keep in mind that the TS said absolutely nothing about meeting another trained fighter for a match.

In that context, I am not condemning sparring. I am simply reminding the TS that his "anxiety" is there for good reason. The pre-historic, subconscious, reptilian side of our brain will always produce a "fight or flight" response if a situation comes up. It is up to us to use the evolved, conscious, and cognizant part of our human brain to decide accordingly. In that regard, discarding one over the other doesn't lend itself to longevity or prosperity.

 

I understand. But to clarify, when I mention "discretion" I in no way even infer "passivity." Just as it is a sad shame to back down to the shadow of every physical confrontation, I believe it is just foolish to rush headlong in the light of a possible confrontation.

While fearlessness and a quick will to fight will serve you consistently well in a sparring session or a match, it can get you (and your companions) killed rather quickly outside the controlled confines of the ring/cage. In that regards we have to keep in mind that the TS said absolutely nothing about meeting another trained fighter for a match.

In that context, I am not condemning sparring. I am simply reminding the TS that his "anxiety" is there for good reason. The pre-historic, subconscious, reptilian side of our brain will always produce a "fight or flight" response if a situation comes up. It is up to us to use the evolved, conscious, and cognizant part of our human brain to decide accordingly. In that regard, discarding one over the other doesn't lend itself to longevity or prosperity.

Definitely agree with that. Always try to defuse the situation. I used to get afraid when confronted too, but now I just keep in mind to always look for a peaceful solution. In the back of my mind, I know I can deal with them if it comes down to physical confrontation, but I really think that 99% of the time that can be avoided, as long as you keep your ego and pride in check.

 

yea thats natural but u cant let it cripple you. I for one LOVE confrontation but i used to get real nervous. after so many fights the nervousness gave way to anticipation, and that gave way to excitement. I still havent been in the cage but i boxed for some years. I think sparring with someone better than you will help a lot. Also try to have more confidence that helps too, its okay to be cocky sometimes...and fun!

 

I guess my concern is what will happen if I ever get into another confrontation, how can I overcome my near crippling anxiety?

Anger is the easy answer, but not the best one. Angry fighters get killed some of the time.

Personally, I find that practice is the only substitute for that warrior spirit that makes us comfortable in conflict.

I've done alot of jiu-jitsu competitions and judo and wrestling and MMA, and the more I compete the more I realize that my opponent is just another guy, he's just a man.

My coach, who's a world class jiu-jitsu competitor, once told me that when he gets jitters he just reminds himself that his opponent is not as good as he is, and that confidence keeps him going.

 

This is the stupidest post I've seen in the training forums.

There are fighters who don't like getting punched in the face, we call them grapplers.

There are fighters who don't have the aggression problems that many pro fighters do, we call them the good ones.

If you think that the fear of confrontation is inborn, than you're stupid and don't know a damn thing about psychology.

If you think that the fear of confrontation cannot be dealt with than you're just f*cking nuts.

Some people like getting hit. Some people like the visceral nature of the sport. Some people like other elements.

I have days when I like going toe-to-toe and testing myself that way. I have days when I like coming home pretty. I've never had a severe fear of confrontation, but I have friends who do, and some of them are solid competitors.

 

i have to disagree with the above post. Everybody has natural rage impulses and adrenaline surges, it's a question of channeling and unleashing it effectively.

 

I used to have nightmares where I'd be fighting to protect my family or a friend, and when I'd throw a punch, I'd put everything I had into it, and it would brush the guy's face with little or no force. I'd get beat up and there was nothing I could do to defend them or myself. It kind of makes me think of "Dragon" the Bruce Lee story, where he has to fight his demon. When I started sparring, I realized how much power I really had. I still get that feeling sometimes, like this guy is just too good, but like Iron Man said, he's just a guy, and I can beat him. That helps my confidence a lot. Plus, I don't mind going home with knots, cuts and bruises. The lady loves it.

Actually, she hates it, but somehow it works out for me.

 

and when I'd throw a punch, I'd put everything I had into it, and it would brush the guy's face with little or no force.
.

I had this exat same dream when I was younger, the rest was diffrent but that part was the same, throwing punches with all my force that just did o damage. Weird.

 

get hit a few times and im s ure you will forget about the fear

 

When it comes to training, I have no problem getting hit. I plan on competing this year, but until then I don't know how I'll do with my nerves in the cage. I am pretty relaxed, confident and mentally prepared, so I believe I'll be relatively cool on the nerves. But when it comes to confrontation outside of the cage, that's when I get nervous.

 

Yeah, the dream was always very vivid, and I can feel what it was like to have the punch of a feather. My punch would be fast, but as soon as it got to their face, it's like their face had a force field or something and it would never really connect. It's like when you try to put two of the same poles of a magnet together, they repel each other.

 

Thats like how mine was, except I also sorta of couldn't reach the guy sometimes. Funny thing was it was a guy who I had already been in a fight with in school.

 

LOL that good to know I am not the only one that has those crazy dreams! I would put everything I had in the punch, but it was like slow mo! Hate those dreams lol...As for the nerves, the more I spare the better it gets. i think I have just been learning how to breath and "channel" that nervous feeling alittle better each time. Good luck bro

 

I had dreams like that too bro! I used to have dreams where im running from something and id be running in slo mo. But usually if i fight in a dream I would smash people, but lately since i've been training for mma in my dreams I always get tapped out by a chinese guy in a gi. Its different but I get the same feeling of hopelessness or despair. Dreams are wierd

 

Alot of people think that I am too docile or something but alot of times it is b/c I am a nice guy and/or I don't want to hit somebody and lose my job. I never really had a fear of fighting more of a fear of losing my job, assault charges etc.

One thing fear is a good thing if you use it the right way...fight or flight.

 

Alot of people think that I am too docile or something but alot of times it is b/c I am a nice guy and/or I don't want to hit somebody and lose my job.

Ummm... maybe it's just me, but those sound like exactly the same thing.

The truth is, if you're talking about conquering a fear of fighting, the only way is to go out and do it.

My dad has a fear of heights, and to help him get over that (which he hasn't done entirely, but he's getting there), my little brother and I took him bungie jumping. (we've talked about doing some skydiving with him and his girlfriend as sort of a surprise thing for one of his birthdays)

It's just about doing it.

 

Cool

Just relax man how old are you?

 

This is a bit off-topic, but from what I have read, the I-punch-someone-and-it-has-no-effect dream is very very common. Fruedians think it is a subconscious manifestation of helplessness.

To get back on topic, OP whenever I am threatened physically I get a similar recation. I am normally very witty (imo) and I have been robbed at gun point and not been worried because I know the guy wasnt going to shoot me if I paid him. I have been accosted by some tool bags before and I couldn't think of anything to say, and my legs shook for minutes after when I was sitting down. Its normal. It wasn't so long ago that getting into a fight and getting a minor puncture wound could have easily been fatal.

If your ego is the only thing being threatened in this situation, just let it go. However, if someone hits you or someone you love, Im sure you wont have a problem defending yourself. Its science.

 

This is a bit off-topic, but from what I have read, the I-punch-someone-and-it-has-no-effect dream is very very common. Fruedians think it is a subconscious manifestation of helplessness.

Weird because I have that same damn dream alot too and my friends have had them before. It sucks. I feel so hopeless.

Anyway, I think the best way to confront violent situations is to lift weights. I used to be scared of anyone that talked shit and would back out out of anything, but I lifted weights and I back down from almost nobody. The best thing to do is whenever someone is trying to confront you, look them straight in the eye and show no sign of fear. Also, if they try to make you flinch by feinting a headbutt, ignore it and they will back down.